Christ, God and other words I’m afraid of.

Voicing the language of my new body of soul work raises discomfort; emotions for me to feel and heal. “Christ”, “the light of God” and “heaven’s above” are some of the concepts you would never have found on my website or socials. Funnily, naming them here surface childhood memories from the 90’s of my Mum and her tempered expletives! But while visiting sacred sites across Australia this winter, having a big, fat spiritual awakening, I was shown Christ, God and heaven, above.

When I think of sharing Christ and God with my email subscribers, fear sets in. What if they subscribed because they are teachers wanting to learn about easing anxiety and depression or growing self-regulation in the classroom and they get smacked over the head with my Godly email? I feel the pink cringe in my cheeks, yet ahh, what a relief to spell it out! If this is you, you know where the unsubscribe button is. 🙂

There is a buzzing of resistance to share this truth of my being out of fear of abandonment. There is a gentle part of me wanting you to accept me and stay, to keep my wounded self safe from being alone. But I know, deep down, abandoning myself and my work in the fear that you would leave me because I am speaking about God and Christ, does not serve you or I. We are here to be divine sovereign beings, authentic in our own right; we came to live our own lives, not anyone else’s.

The cosmic joke is I love to be alone! As I write to you, I am revelling being on my own at home, in the quiet space, in solitude (aside from our new puppy Lulu sleeping next to me). And my heart offers a gentle reminder, I am safe, all is well and that I am loved beyond measure through the Temple of the Rose.

My fear of naming God and Christ stems from being refused entry, not belonging and being alone. Being outed for believing such a ridiculous thing, being mocked, laughed at and cast aside. I see memories of that scary big Grade 6 who laughed at me when I fell over on the steps at the front of school in Prep, I see family members smirking at me and me making it mean I was stupid, not good enough, less than and powerless. And I can feel this in my body as a tightening in my belly, drained energy in my arms and a drawing down in my cheeks. Excuse me, as I open up the space for these feelings to express themselves with my undivided attention and watch them transform in dare I say, the light of Christ.

God and Christ were so uncool. I recall my teenage years at an Anglican school, surrounded by my friends’ and my own belief to not believe in God; it was too goody-two-shoes, stupid and a waste of time. I also think about a conversation I had with family post Year 12, us scheming and laughing at the absurdity of someone we knew of who believed God gave her the gift of a beautiful sunrise for her birthday. Honestly, I was in disbelief someone could be so delusional.

God and Christ was all too strange for me. I think of all those crazy, overzealous people in business suits on daytime TV speaking in a weird way about the Lord and other things from the Bible that I don’t understand. Or those awful songs I hear on what my family called Jesus-loving radio stations where the devotion has me feel ‘ick’ and I am driven to find a more ‘normal’ channel. And I recall the ‘strange’ circle of African-American women praying with their hands up, swaying, hmm-hmming and perhaps speaking in tongues in front of the White House when I visited Washington D.C. in 2010. I was turned off by it all.

New age spirituality was a safe zone. I was 23 when my curiosity, blotted with fear, led me to enter the intuitive world of Reiki and Spiritual Development. These circles opened me up, doing readings, working with ‘universal light’ and energy for ‘our highest good’, however the “G” and “C” words were used sparingly, if at all.

In 2012, God arrived. During meditation in the hills of Darjeeling, India, it felt like a window was pushed open for light to pour in and I saw that God was, is everywhere and in everything; the hills, the sky, the houses, the land, the water, the people. This was a profound moment, yet I was shy to share this story with my Soul Worker Academy community in 2016. It felt more aligned for me to teach more generally about creation energy, oneness and the spiritual vs physical worlds and I certainly didn’t see God as a man in the sky or heaven as an actual place.

In 2019, I became quietly drawn to people talking about Christ Consciousness. Then spent the next six years deep in the somatic shadows healing trauma from my body, creating space for what was to come.

Fast forward to 2025, on my trip around Australia, I got what I least expected. I knew I was in for a big spiritual upgrade but I expected more of what I knew; I expected intuitive downloads, working with universal light and deep heartfelt connection with the Earth. But not only was the level of vividness and intricate detail extraordinary and brand new, I discovered the light of God, seeing him as a man in the sky and was shown direct access to both heaven (in the sky) and Christ Consciousness. On the outside, life looked good; my family and I were visiting extraordinary places on an unforgettable trip. But on the inside my life was epic; I was experiencing the biggest revelation of my life.

I found my peace, power, my higher purpose and potential. After years of stuckness and hitting a spiritual ceiling, I remembered how to go gently inside my heart and see it in all its diamond consciousness glory. Exquisite, sparking, spinning, shining, proud, multidimensional merkebah light. Everything made sense; of course I was offering the Diamond Mentorship! I absorbed waves upon waves of love from Pleaides (Seven Sisters) star, Electra and I accessed my star roots from the ground. I became an equal with Star Woman (Green Tara), I understood my higher purpose and began channelling Christ consciousness from the golden global grid.

I am living my best life. I got out my addiction to social media and feel peace. At home with my family, I’m deepening further into presence. After remembering to pray while sitting with my greatest fear I discovered my power. I stopped being riddled with the anxiety of making my business work; I remembered prosperity is within. And I’m tasting more of my potential and doing the work I was born for, in the Temple of the Rose.

It turns out Christ light and the light of God is not separate from universal energy, Source or life force energy; it is all one. Do you have resistance to words like Christ and God? If yes, and you’re denying your own divinity, stuck in other people’s beliefs, living someone else’s life, abandoning your true spiritual beliefs, understanding, awareness and experiences in the fear of being alone, rejected, powerless or unsafe, then come and read about the freshly upgraded DIAMOND MENTORSHIP. All is well.